Elden Ring’s living pots are the nightmarish fuel that keeps on giving

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I can’t stop thinking about Ring of Elden‘s Living Jars – and not in a healthy way. Yes, I was swept away the first wave of pot worshipaaawing at their tiny arms and legs and wanting to pinch their clay cheeks like an all-too-familiar grandmother ignorant of boundaries.

But now I see them for the ceramic horrors that they are, Milkshake Ducks with rotting corpses instead of racism. And while I’ve been trying to push them out of my mind, temporarily leaving The Lands Between for the healthier shenanigans and juggling the youngsters of LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga, the nightmarish fuel keeps flowing, even when I’m a way .

Will the jars make this a potential sequel to Elden Ring?

It was the battle with Starscourge Radahn and his tiny horse that introduced me to the true nature of the Jars. The scratching moment came when, scouring the battlefield after Radahn’s fall, I saw Alexander, Warrior Jar, pawing the ground. I walked around to thank him for his help, having summoned him more times than he was strictly sane. Then, after a few mundane lines of conversation, he dropped this bombshell:

“Luckily, there’s a veritable mountain of warrior bodies here. If I can just squeeze this group in, I’ll be a mighty warrior again in no time.

That’s great Alexander, good luck with–– wait, what?


A truly grotesque epiphany.

There are, I admit, some clues I missed – maybe I should have wondered why Alexander’s more aggressive brothers would periodically drop a ‘raw meatball’ when dispatched . I definitely shouldn’t have eaten it, but thought it was just random loot, subject to the same warped RPG logic that in other games has rats dropping gold coins .

But, no, what I had shoved down the hole in my protagonist’s face was a globe of human flesh. And while From Software stopped short of making them splash when they move, the ugly truth of the Living Jars of Elden Ring is that these “adorable” animated jars are stuffed full of the crumbling and decaying remains of fallen warriors. , body and body parts. .


Have you ever wondered why ravioli poisons you?

This reveal alone is terrifyingly gruesome, but it raises so many questions – only a few of which are conclusively answered. Take bloodstains, for example, which show you how another player met their death. There’s no corpse because what you see happened in a parallel universe, right? But what if the real reason is that, as someone exhales, the Living Jars descend upon him, greedily grasping his lifeless flesh, pushing handful after wet handful under their lids.

Imagine this – you are lying, bleeding but alive on a battlefield, the skirmish itself is long over. Fighting the pain, you drag yourself across the floor, searching for something, anything to extend your dwindling life. You passed a trader’s hut a mile back, if you can get that far, maybe you can…and that’s where the Jars start coming.

There’s only a couple at first, picking up the remains of a fallen comrade. You watch in horror as they slice open his skull, holding the brain aloft like a treasured relic. You turn away before you see what they’re doing with it, but the sound is sickening enough that, fearing the fate that awaits you, you struggle to get to your knees.


What was in the pot at The Game Awards…?

That’s when you spot the stocky, rotund figures standing a few yards away, their inscrutable faces, or any piece of blank pot that functions as a face, pointed at you and you know you’re not leaving here. alive. Maybe they’re waiting for you to breathe your last before they dig their clay claws into you. Maybe not.

And that, believe it or not, is not the worst. The Living Jars believe that by harvesting the flesh of the dead they gain their knowledge and that these fighters live through each Jar. Yes, you have to spank Alexander to get him out of a hole, but a visit to the hidden village of Jarburg, home of the Living Jars (which also saw me revise my smash-on-sight policy), confirms that it is not an isolated belief.


How many people can a jar actually hold inside itself, then?

“Many great warriors reside within me, always dreaming of becoming a great champion…one day we will be one great champion. The greatest of them all!” he explains. At the best of times, he’s wrong, and as unsettling as the jars full of carrion are, any perceived improvement in combat skills is just a placebo effect.

But what if they are right and bringing someone inside gives them access to their experiences and knowledge? the Elden Ring Wiki Living Pot Entrancewhich I’m pretty sure is written by a living pot, tries to sell it as a touching form of immortality, much like, to a lesser extent, the game itself.

Am I buying this? Not in a million years. Elden Ring is a bit hazy on whether there is an afterlife or, indeed, whether The Lands Between are themselves some kind of afterlife. Imagine exhaling only to find that instead of wandering the Champs Elysées, you’re part of a semi-sentient sludge or, if the jar in question is vast enough, your shattered corpse is piled up alongside a dozen ‘others.


Living jars come in various sizes and are often found motionless…until an enemy gets too close.

You might be able to communicate, if you’re lucky, with your fellow doomed souls but, much like Jordan Peele’s brilliant Get Out, you would have little influence over the ship that was now your prison. Even the death of your host would not guarantee your release; as a Jarburg quest reveals, Jars can pass their interior, meaning you could be “around” for hundreds or even thousands of years.

Admittedly, I’m a huge horror fan, which might just be why my mind descended into that particular rabbit hole. Elden Ring is certainly not short of horror; a monster is just a group of people grafted together and your protagonist can “die” as thorny vines burst from their torso, lifting their skewered corpse off the ground. But Elden Ring’s living pots are such brilliant, nightmarish creations that, like Doctor Who’s Weeping Angels, they nearly eclipse the medium that spawned them.

I don’t know if the Jars were the brainchild of Hidetaka Miyazaki or his collaborator George RR Martin, though based on previous From Software games, I suspect the former. What I can tell you is that the living jars have entered my head, including the disturbing memories, and they’re not going away anytime soon.

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